Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
