Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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