Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
