you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
