she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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