I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
