Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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