i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
