Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just want to make out with him forever
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
