oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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