what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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