your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
