i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
