shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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