VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
