Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
