How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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