Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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