on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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