all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
