Tell her she can't have a vagina
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We have started to decorate penises.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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