Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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