Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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