the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
