My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
