Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
