look no pants
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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