dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
