R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
