i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
