is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
