it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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