i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
