You made me cry and you don't even care
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
now i know why i became what i already was.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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