pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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