Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
