O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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