**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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