this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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