your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
