Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
