I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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