You work out of a Hotel?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize