Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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