I wanna bring you to show and tell
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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