That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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