Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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