I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
