Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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