My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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