whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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