I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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