i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
