Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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