I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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