I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
