I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
