Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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