Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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