My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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