I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
